To save the world you have to do one of the three things: walk around New York naked for a day with your pubes dyed green, send a family member a photo of your genitalia, or marry an elephant and be a loving husband for the rest of your life. Which one would you choose?


My family is dead, so that option is out. My hair is too precious to be dyed to matter where it is on my body so I’ll marry the elephant. Though I’m sure your and my idea of a ‘loving husband’ are two different things so.. don’t expect it to have a long life. 



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